How to Reduce Screen Time for Kids

I keep hearing parents say some version of this:

"We're trying to get our kids to read more, but it's so hard to get them to put the iPad down."

I understand why it feels hard. What our kids are competing against isn't just another toy.

Many of the apps, games, videos, and platforms available on an iPad are specifically designed to keep people engaged. Autoplay starts another video before you have time to think about whether you want to watch it. Games offer rewards and celebrations. New content is constantly available. There's always something else to click, watch, earn, or discover.

The American Academy of Pediatrics now specifically warns parents about these "engagement-based designs" and features such as autoplay, endless scrolling, algorithms, and intermittent rewards that can encourage prolonged use.

In other words, your child isn't simply lacking willpower. They're being asked to exercise self-control against technology intentionally designed to hold their attention.

And they're doing it with a brain that isn't fully developed yet. The prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain involved in things like decision-making, planning, impulse control, and weighing consequences—is one of the last areas of the brain to fully mature. It continues developing well into young adulthood.

At the same time, rewarding experiences activate the brain's reward system. Dopamine is part of that system and helps motivate us to repeat behaviors that our brains find rewarding. Games, exciting videos, notifications, new content, and digital rewards can keep giving a child another reason to think, Just one more.

So why are we expecting an 8-year-old to recognize that they've had enough stimulation, turn off the thing they desperately want to keep using, put it away, and pick up a chapter book?

That's an adult expectation we're placing on a child's developing brain.

Your child doesn't need more willpower.

They need a parent.

I say that with compassion, not judgment. Parenting is hard. We're all tired. Every family has different circumstances, and I'm certainly not suggesting that allowing your child to watch a movie or play a game makes you a bad parent.

In our home, we've made the choice not to have ipads and tvs available to our kids. (However, we do have projector to watch occasional movies.) That's certainly not the only way to parent. But I do think we need to be honest about who is responsible for setting the boundary.

You are the parent. It is your choice whether your child is on the iPad.

If you want your child to read more, you may have to put the iPad away. Not ask them to put it away. Just put it away.

They may complain. Scratch that—they will complain. They will ask for it again. They may announce that there's absolutely nothing to do. That’s ok, let them.

You don't have to immediately replace the iPad with another form of entertainment. Let them experience boredom. Because something interesting often happens on the other side of boredom. They find the Lego bin. They grab a basketball. They go outside. They draw. They build a fort. They invent a game with their siblings. And maybe, just maybe, they eventually pick up a book.

Our children are growing up in a world where entertainment will always be one click away. Eventually, they'll have to learn how to manage that for themselves. But right now, they're still developing the skills to do it. That's why they have us.

So the next time you find yourself saying, "I wish my child would put down the iPad and read more," try changing the sentence:

"I'm going to help my child spend less time on the iPad so there's more room for reading, playing, creating, exploring, and being a kid."

Your child may not choose that boundary. They probably won't thank you for it today. But that's okay. They're not supposed to be the parent. You are.