Back-to-School Anxiety
There's something special about the start of a new school year—shopping for school supplies, packing up the bookbag, meeting the teacher, picking out a new lunch box. However, the first day of school might also bring butterflies, tears, and more than a few deep breaths—from both our kids and us.
If your child is feeling anxious about going back to school, know this: they're not alone. Even children who loved school last year can suddenly become nervous about a new teacher, a new classroom, or making new friends. Change is hard, even when it's a good change.
I remember one year when one of my daughters struggled far more than I expected. Every morning she walked all the way to her classroom, but when it was time to go inside, she simply wouldn't. she would just freeze. For nearly a week, she stood quietly outside the classroom door while her teacher gently encouraged her to come in.
As her mom, it broke my heart. I questioned whether I was doing the right thing. I prayed constantly. I wanted to fix it for her.
After speaking to her teacher, we came up with a plan to help encourage her in the door. Then one morning, she took a few steps inside. The next day it was a little easier. Before long, she was happily walking into class like she'd never been afraid at all.
That week reminded me that confidence usually isn't built all at once. It's built one small, brave step at a time.
Anxiety doesn't always look the way we expect. Some children cry. Others become quiet, complain of stomachaches, have trouble sleeping, or suddenly become irritable. Younger children especially may not have the words to explain what they're feeling, so their emotions show up through their behavior.
One of the best things we can do is so simple, but we often forget to do…acknowledge those feelings. Instead of saying, "You'll be fine," try saying, "I know this feels scary. New things can be hard, but I know you can do hard things." Feeling understood often helps children more than having all of their fears explained away.
There are also a few simple ways to make those first days a little easier:
Talk about what the first day will look like before it arrives.
Practice the morning routine so everyone feels less rushed.
Read books about starting school or visit the school ahead of time.
At open house, go through the morning routine of unpacking bookbag, finding seat, and even walking to the bathroom from the classroom.
Tuck a little note, Bible verse, or family picture into your child's bookbag or lunchbox.
End each school day by asking, "What was the best part of your day?" before asking about any problems.
When Mom Feels Anxious
And if you're the one feeling anxious, give yourself grace too.
Watching your children grow is both beautiful and bittersweet. We worry about whether they'll make friends, have kind teachers, and feel confident. Those worries simply come from loving them deeply.
Children often borrow confidence from us. They notice our expressions, our words, and our reactions. That doesn't mean we have to pretend we're never emotional. It simply means we can remind them—and ourselves—that new beginnings often feel scary before they become familiar.
Before you leave the house, take a moment to pray together. Ask God to give your child courage, kindness, and joy. Then pray for yourself, too. Parenting requires just as much courage as childhood sometimes does.
As the school year begins, don't expect a perfect first day. Or even a perfect first week.
Some children will run into school without looking back. Others may need extra hugs, a few tears, or several mornings standing just outside the classroom door before they're ready.
All are okay.
Every child grows at a different pace.
So pack the bookbag. Snap the first-day pictures. Give the extra hug. Say the prayer.
Then trust that the small steps your child takes today are helping build the confidence they'll carry for years to come.
